A Place to Be
by wintergreen825
Summary: Harry had always managed to keep going. He finally had to stop.


**Legal Disclaimer:** I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I'm just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn't going to get you anything but tears.

**Warning:** This work may be offensive to some readers. Feel free to back out if that's you.

**Author's Note:** This is very similar to my fic _Gentle Hands_, except instead of running into Blaise, this time, Harry found Luna.

**Submitting Info:**  
**Stacked with:** Hogwarts (Term 10); MC4A  
**Individual Challenges:** placeholder  
**House:** Hufflepuff  
**Assignment No.:** Term 10 – Assignment 7  
**Subject (Task No.):** Performing Arts (Task #3: Write about something or someone out of place.)  
**Space Address (Prompt):** 5D (Dance/Music)  
**Representation(s):** Autistic Harry Potter; Luna Lovegood; Child Abuse  
**Bonus Challenges:** Zucchini Bread; Sneeze Weasel; Machismo; Peddling Potts; Second Verse (Not a Lamp; Persistence Still); Chorus (Wabi Sabi)  
**Tertiary Bonus Challenges:** T3 (Terse; Thimble); SN (Ameliorate)  
**Word Count:** 676

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**A Place to Be**  
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There were times when Harry just couldn't handle things anymore. Of course, that had never meant that he could just give up. Aunt Petunia would never have allowed Harry to shirk any of his chores just because he was feeling overwhelmed. Going to Hogwarts had not improved the chances of him being able to retreat for a bit of respite occasionally. Even if he managed to sneak away from his friends, there was always questions when he returned, and Harry couldn't explain why he had to get away, could he?

He had managed just fine in the past. Even during the tournament last year, he had managed to keep himself together. It had been close at times, often closer than he really liked to acknowledge most of the time. He had still managed.

Then Umbridge had happened, and now Hermione had organized this study group that she wanted him to lead, and the astrosphere in the dorms was tense because of what the _Daily Prophet_ was printing about him, and he was being possessed but not by Voldemort which meant putting up with Snape ripping through his mind on a regular basis, and all that was on top of the normal activity involved in preparing for essentially his magical GCSEs.

It had all come to a head as he stumbled from yet another _lesson_ on Occlumency with Snape. His head was already pounding, both from the shouted instructions that told him _nothing_ and from the hostile way Snape's magic had torn through his mind without regard for any damage he could cause. It was after curfew, and as usual, Snape had not offered to write Harry a note in case he ran into Filch or a professor.

Harry hadn't bothered to even ask. He had already known the answer.

He was almost back to Gryffindor when he came across Luna staring out a window at the night sky. The blonde turned as he stumbled closer, intent on taking a break in the window seat with her. She immediately shifted to give him enough room to squeeze into the space beside her, which he took advantage of gratefully. He tucked his face into the crook of her neck, breathing deeply of the scent that was purely Luna, as she wrapped an arm around his back to keep him balanced against her side.

"Do you ever _what if_?"

The question was out before Harry was even aware of it forming in his head. It wasn't like he hadn't played that game before. _What if_ he was just a little faster completing his chores? _What if_ he was just a little less weird, had tried a little harder to fit among his classmates and neighborhood? _What if_ he could manage to hold that gaze a little longer, or not ask that question, or to refrain from fidgeting? Would things be better? Would the Dursleys finally care?

Coming to Hogwarts hadn't fixed anything, not like he had thought it would. It had just shifted the questions. _What if_ he managed listen a little better or picked up on something a little faster? _What if_ he hadn't been a Parselmouth? _What if_ he wasn't so clingy? Would they have let him stay then? Would they have not left?

_What if, what if, what if_?

"Don't do that," Luna cautioned gently. "Quickest way to lose your mind."

"You would know," Harry replied, grumpily. He winced, pressing his face harder into her neck and squeezing. Luna pressed a kiss to his temple before running her free hand through his hair. He shivered, unused to the tenderness she was showing him. Harry felt like he was both drowning and dying of thirst, with Luna being the spring of life-giving water. Quietly, she began to hum something that was tuneless and mindless.

For what seemed like the first time in his life, Harry felt that he could just be without any expectations. He let himself drift away on the current of the magic wrapped protectively around him.

Finally, he had a place that he belonged.


End file.
